Would folks kindly explain how one can feel worthwhile? I am 48, single, unemployed due to accident injuries.??
Question: Friends & family do not understand since they are not experiencing the chronic pain and difficulty obtaining part-time work. I do not need to talk about the injuries, but I feel down. It seems the 1st question everyone asks is what do you do for work ? I do not have close family or 1 of my own (such as children). The place where I live does not have any support groups for people affected by injuries like me. I do not have much time for IM'ing or online chatting, & have found only 1 group at least close to my age & interests. Yahoo seems to be for the young, which is good for them, but leaves me with the 1 online support group.
I know depression has set in & will pass since I have a therapist to help me. I need people with whom I can have a conversation online & in person. Money is tight so I am not able to join some groups. I have feelings, interests and needs like everyone, but not enough people with whom to share. I feel worthless.
Answers: Firstly what you are going through is quite natural. We are raised to find value in our occupations. When we do not have that value feedback then we feel demoralized. You are right that when people meet you the one of the first things they ask is; What do you do for a living? Proof that we have been conditioned to define ourselves by what we do for a living. We are so much more than that!
You need to simply say you are between jobs or changeing careers or taking a rest. Whatever makes it feel okay for you. It is not a matter of lying or fooling yourself. It is self-preservation and protecting your own psyche.
You also need to keep yourself occupied. When we are not taken up with the mundane daily tasks of getting to work and our days are not filled with activity and purpose of some kind, we tend to think way too much.
Right now you are too focused on what is wrong in your life. If you allow this to go on eventually your thoughts focus exclusively on this. It is called conization. You need to use personal and mental discipline to pull your mind away from sad and hurtful thoughts. You also want to keep your thoughts in the mainstream. If you are depressed and always looking like you lost your best friend and always talking about sad things or your personal preoccupations, people do not want to be around you and employers are not interested in that kind of person. The situation escalates because people start avoiding you.
Nobody will rescue you and pills will not rescue you. Pills have a whole bag of bad stuff that comes with them. They will give you a warm and fuzzy feeling for awhile but if you do not develop your intrinsic coping mechanisms you will go through this time and again.
Here are some suggestions to get your mind out of the dumps that do not cost a lot of money.
Look on the net for free concerts or lectures near you. Another good place to look is in the local rags. Go to church bizaars, bake sales, garage sales. You will interact with people and feel a part of the world.
Decide you want to learn something. There is nothing better to occupy the mind like intellectual pursuit. You might even discover you have an apptitude or profound interest in something that will lead you to employment that motivates you and fulfills you for the rest of your days.
Read novels, even trashy ones if that is what you like. I find a good book always works wonders for taking my mind off of things.
Explore your spirit. There is a force that lives inside each of us and we must acknowledge it and nuture it. The Chinese call it the Chi, the Hindus call it the Kundalini, the Catholics call it the Holy Spirit. You are free to call it whatever you like. There is but one God and there are many, many paths to Him. Despite what some will tell you, He does not prefer any one path to the other. Take the one you are comfortable with. Explore the paths. It will also have the upside of bringing you in to contact with caring people. Not to judge those who are not religious or spiritual but people who take the time to nuture their spirit tend to be more balanced, more gentle people and open people.
Know that there are truly kind and good people out there who can provide you with companionship and comfort. You need only to go out and seek them. The important thing to realize is that they will not come seeking you. You will need to put in a little bit of effort for your own health and happiness.
Once you feel a part of the world and your mind is flowing with ideas and thoughts other than what troubles you, finding a job will become easier.
I sincerely hope this helps you.
God Bless You
~A~
i would suggest speaking to your doctor about being put on an anti-depressant. they really do work wonders.
there are also many other ways to try and form connections with people. don't cross off young people just because they're young; there are a few mature young people out there that don't mind talking to someone older.
you mentioned that you have trouble looking for part-time work, but that you also dont have time for online chatting or IM'ing; what do you do to take up your free time? have you considered a hobby? crosswords, books, collecting, movies, trains, volunteering?
Maybe you can volunteer a few hours a day in an old age home or a hospital. This gets you out and about, at least a little. If you can't do four hours, ask if you can do two hours. There's always need for volunteers and you see that there are more like you in the same boat or worse. You need to get out of the house, seeing a therapist ist the best for you too and if you're still depressed there's medication you can take, and you don't have to be ashamed taking that med, because of depression due to your circumstances. You don't have to talk about it to other people, the main thing is that you will feel better.
Good Luck and Get Well.
Not knowing all situations - but the best cure is go help someone else. Volunteer at the hospital, homeless shelter, orphans there are a multitude of people and organizations that need help.
It give you an outlet to talk and communicate with others, it takes the focus off of yourself (which leads to depression) and when you help someone else then you find worth in your life.
The hardest part is just doing, but each step will get you closer
Congratulations. Putting this question on shows that you have great courage and really want to help yourself move on - which is the first step. One of my friends has just gone through a similar stage in his life. What helped him was two things. First it may be that you have ' depression' which is just as much an illness as catching as something more obvious like virus. Your doctor will be able to help direct you to professionals who specialise in it - they will give you some real things to do to help get you out. Also he was suffering from a chemical imbalance which was quickly and easily sorted out. It might be the same for you so do go and get some professional advice.
The second thing he did was to get out there and do some voluntary work with people who were more disadvantaged. He helped at a charity shop and also go involved with riding for disabled children. ( This is a good web site in the UK called timebank with info on on voluntary work local to you). There are lots of worthwhile projects helping out the elderly in most towns.
It may be hard at first but you will eventually meet new people, keep busy and also be reminded that there are people with very worse problems and disabilities than you. You will find that most people who volunteer and kind and giving people - some of whom are also lonely and looking for friends. If you don't fancy voluntary work try and evening class - you can usually get lots of discount if you are on a limited income.
Write yourself a list of just three new things you are going to do tomorrow to continue helping yourself. Give yourself a year to keep going with them and recognise that things aren't going to improve overnight but by keeping going with your plan.
You have definately started the process by being branve enough in asking for help so make a pact with yourself to keep positive and make this the year of change.
You really do need to interact with other people who will accept you where you are . They can usually be found in the local church of your choice.
If you haven't met Jesus yet: seek him out at the same place. He has been patiently waiting for you to come.
As was said to Mikey - Try it; you'll like it!
Hi, I am 40 years old and in the same boat. I'm sorry you don't have supportive family and friends, glad to hear you have a therapist though. It's so frustrating to be in chronic pain and have no one understand. I don't know what to tell you, I think people like us need to find our own ways to feel worthwhile more than we need other people's understanding or approval. I'm still looking for my own path, and I think you should try to find yours. The answers are within us, if we are lucky enough to find them and act on them, all the rest will fall into place.
You can drop me a line if you want, my avitar can talk to your avitar, but don't be surprised if you don't hear from me right away, I have only a short time on the PC before it starts to be painful. Either way, good luck in your quest.
P.S. I really like Annie's answer, lots of good advice there.
Well you can write, so what about reading? If you like to read you can always get a better education and posiable get a business on line so you wouldnt have to do outside work. You know I use to have cronic back pain and couldnt seem to get any relief, untill I got a job delivering food to resturants and much to my suprise my back pain vanished. Well I found out that if I just did some toe touches that it would keep the pain away, but thats not what you need right now. You know I don't know your situation and I don't know any of your problems except you are in need of some kind of help, and all I can tell you is don't never give up, never never never! All though it may look bad, fight like hell and keep going and time will be on your side, but on the other side you have to be willing to kick some *** even if you have to make them stoop down to do so. DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ask for help from some of the job and family services in your area to see if their is any way that you can get some kind of diffrent training. You know I think my alarm clock hates me because it keeps making this extreamly anoing noise just to piss me off, but I don't think Ill get rid of it because no matter what, were friends?????????????? by for now and don't feel so down, we all know life can suck sometimes but keep on keepin on!
I know depression has set in & will pass since I have a therapist to help me. I need people with whom I can have a conversation online & in person. Money is tight so I am not able to join some groups. I have feelings, interests and needs like everyone, but not enough people with whom to share. I feel worthless.
Answers: Firstly what you are going through is quite natural. We are raised to find value in our occupations. When we do not have that value feedback then we feel demoralized. You are right that when people meet you the one of the first things they ask is; What do you do for a living? Proof that we have been conditioned to define ourselves by what we do for a living. We are so much more than that!
You need to simply say you are between jobs or changeing careers or taking a rest. Whatever makes it feel okay for you. It is not a matter of lying or fooling yourself. It is self-preservation and protecting your own psyche.
You also need to keep yourself occupied. When we are not taken up with the mundane daily tasks of getting to work and our days are not filled with activity and purpose of some kind, we tend to think way too much.
Right now you are too focused on what is wrong in your life. If you allow this to go on eventually your thoughts focus exclusively on this. It is called conization. You need to use personal and mental discipline to pull your mind away from sad and hurtful thoughts. You also want to keep your thoughts in the mainstream. If you are depressed and always looking like you lost your best friend and always talking about sad things or your personal preoccupations, people do not want to be around you and employers are not interested in that kind of person. The situation escalates because people start avoiding you.
Nobody will rescue you and pills will not rescue you. Pills have a whole bag of bad stuff that comes with them. They will give you a warm and fuzzy feeling for awhile but if you do not develop your intrinsic coping mechanisms you will go through this time and again.
Here are some suggestions to get your mind out of the dumps that do not cost a lot of money.
Look on the net for free concerts or lectures near you. Another good place to look is in the local rags. Go to church bizaars, bake sales, garage sales. You will interact with people and feel a part of the world.
Decide you want to learn something. There is nothing better to occupy the mind like intellectual pursuit. You might even discover you have an apptitude or profound interest in something that will lead you to employment that motivates you and fulfills you for the rest of your days.
Read novels, even trashy ones if that is what you like. I find a good book always works wonders for taking my mind off of things.
Explore your spirit. There is a force that lives inside each of us and we must acknowledge it and nuture it. The Chinese call it the Chi, the Hindus call it the Kundalini, the Catholics call it the Holy Spirit. You are free to call it whatever you like. There is but one God and there are many, many paths to Him. Despite what some will tell you, He does not prefer any one path to the other. Take the one you are comfortable with. Explore the paths. It will also have the upside of bringing you in to contact with caring people. Not to judge those who are not religious or spiritual but people who take the time to nuture their spirit tend to be more balanced, more gentle people and open people.
Know that there are truly kind and good people out there who can provide you with companionship and comfort. You need only to go out and seek them. The important thing to realize is that they will not come seeking you. You will need to put in a little bit of effort for your own health and happiness.
Once you feel a part of the world and your mind is flowing with ideas and thoughts other than what troubles you, finding a job will become easier.
I sincerely hope this helps you.
God Bless You
~A~
i would suggest speaking to your doctor about being put on an anti-depressant. they really do work wonders.
there are also many other ways to try and form connections with people. don't cross off young people just because they're young; there are a few mature young people out there that don't mind talking to someone older.
you mentioned that you have trouble looking for part-time work, but that you also dont have time for online chatting or IM'ing; what do you do to take up your free time? have you considered a hobby? crosswords, books, collecting, movies, trains, volunteering?
Maybe you can volunteer a few hours a day in an old age home or a hospital. This gets you out and about, at least a little. If you can't do four hours, ask if you can do two hours. There's always need for volunteers and you see that there are more like you in the same boat or worse. You need to get out of the house, seeing a therapist ist the best for you too and if you're still depressed there's medication you can take, and you don't have to be ashamed taking that med, because of depression due to your circumstances. You don't have to talk about it to other people, the main thing is that you will feel better.
Good Luck and Get Well.
Not knowing all situations - but the best cure is go help someone else. Volunteer at the hospital, homeless shelter, orphans there are a multitude of people and organizations that need help.
It give you an outlet to talk and communicate with others, it takes the focus off of yourself (which leads to depression) and when you help someone else then you find worth in your life.
The hardest part is just doing, but each step will get you closer
Congratulations. Putting this question on shows that you have great courage and really want to help yourself move on - which is the first step. One of my friends has just gone through a similar stage in his life. What helped him was two things. First it may be that you have ' depression' which is just as much an illness as catching as something more obvious like virus. Your doctor will be able to help direct you to professionals who specialise in it - they will give you some real things to do to help get you out. Also he was suffering from a chemical imbalance which was quickly and easily sorted out. It might be the same for you so do go and get some professional advice.
The second thing he did was to get out there and do some voluntary work with people who were more disadvantaged. He helped at a charity shop and also go involved with riding for disabled children. ( This is a good web site in the UK called timebank with info on on voluntary work local to you). There are lots of worthwhile projects helping out the elderly in most towns.
It may be hard at first but you will eventually meet new people, keep busy and also be reminded that there are people with very worse problems and disabilities than you. You will find that most people who volunteer and kind and giving people - some of whom are also lonely and looking for friends. If you don't fancy voluntary work try and evening class - you can usually get lots of discount if you are on a limited income.
Write yourself a list of just three new things you are going to do tomorrow to continue helping yourself. Give yourself a year to keep going with them and recognise that things aren't going to improve overnight but by keeping going with your plan.
You have definately started the process by being branve enough in asking for help so make a pact with yourself to keep positive and make this the year of change.
You really do need to interact with other people who will accept you where you are . They can usually be found in the local church of your choice.
If you haven't met Jesus yet: seek him out at the same place. He has been patiently waiting for you to come.
As was said to Mikey - Try it; you'll like it!
Hi, I am 40 years old and in the same boat. I'm sorry you don't have supportive family and friends, glad to hear you have a therapist though. It's so frustrating to be in chronic pain and have no one understand. I don't know what to tell you, I think people like us need to find our own ways to feel worthwhile more than we need other people's understanding or approval. I'm still looking for my own path, and I think you should try to find yours. The answers are within us, if we are lucky enough to find them and act on them, all the rest will fall into place.
You can drop me a line if you want, my avitar can talk to your avitar, but don't be surprised if you don't hear from me right away, I have only a short time on the PC before it starts to be painful. Either way, good luck in your quest.
P.S. I really like Annie's answer, lots of good advice there.
Well you can write, so what about reading? If you like to read you can always get a better education and posiable get a business on line so you wouldnt have to do outside work. You know I use to have cronic back pain and couldnt seem to get any relief, untill I got a job delivering food to resturants and much to my suprise my back pain vanished. Well I found out that if I just did some toe touches that it would keep the pain away, but thats not what you need right now. You know I don't know your situation and I don't know any of your problems except you are in need of some kind of help, and all I can tell you is don't never give up, never never never! All though it may look bad, fight like hell and keep going and time will be on your side, but on the other side you have to be willing to kick some *** even if you have to make them stoop down to do so. DON'T GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ask for help from some of the job and family services in your area to see if their is any way that you can get some kind of diffrent training. You know I think my alarm clock hates me because it keeps making this extreamly anoing noise just to piss me off, but I don't think Ill get rid of it because no matter what, were friends?????????????? by for now and don't feel so down, we all know life can suck sometimes but keep on keepin on!
More questions & answers:
- I use the bathroom at least 5 times before I go out I'm afraid to do anything anymore especially eating out
- What could this be?
- Any home remedies for curing a Urinary Tract Infection with ECOLI bacteria?
- Would I need hip replacement? *details below*?
- What could it be and what caused it?
- My parent had a stroke and will be relocating near me, need some advice, serious answer only please?
- Can you get rid of lice by using bug bombs?
- What are some symptoms of infection?
- What are Cochlear's used for its those little ear peices that attatch to a persons ear and behind it too?
- Persistant pins and needles in feet... comes on a couple of times a day?
- I sleep a lot but still feel tired in the day?
could be IBS and stress makes it worse. Go back to your doctor and tell him how this is affecting your life. Mail me let me know how you get on as I am in the same boat as you.
before this pain started did it hurt to urinate? because a kidney infection is a result from an untreated uti (urinary tract infection) when it moves up then it goes to your kidneys.
have you miss
have you miss
First drink LOTS of water. Don't drink any pop or high sugar drinks. Also drink teas and cranberry juice. Keep flushing your system out, the more you pee the better. And there are a few other things t
You may have osteoarthritis (OA) and an xray would likely tell. Go to your regular doctor and tell him of your pain and discomfort. The first thing he will order will probably be an xray of your hips,
He could have a stress fracture in his foot.
Strain from too much exercise, running, biking, can do this.
Also, he could have a neuroma
A nerve inflammation from the shoe rubbing on t
Strain from too much exercise, running, biking, can do this.
Also, he could have a neuroma
A nerve inflammation from the shoe rubbing on t
I Totally understand your situation because my wife and I are in a similar situation.
Her parents are both elderly and they are divorced. So, my mother in law lives with us and we look after
Her parents are both elderly and they are divorced. So, my mother in law lives with us and we look after
lidane
nix
kwell
elimite
ovid
carbaryl
ivermecin
precipitated sulfur
the medication for lice or scabies
lice appears on the body
bug bombs is to rid your hous
nix
kwell
elimite
ovid
carbaryl
ivermecin
precipitated sulfur
the medication for lice or scabies
lice appears on the body
bug bombs is to rid your hous
It depends on what kind of bacteria or virus has infected it. My daughter got an ingrown toenail and it got red and puffy first, then got puss. The puss just looked like a white area on her skin. The
it is the first generation bionic ear.the devise is implanted into the skull and the ear piece is attached to it like a magnet..it gives the deaf ability to hear sounds.it is intergrated to the nerves
It is the constriction of your sciatica nerve. Most likely from the misalignment of your spine or possibly hip causing a bone to compress the nerve. This then cuts off (not a medical term..lol) the
lol you need to sleep innnnnnnnnnn! not wkae up at like 7 30 and 8 that is toooooo early!!!!!!!